1. COUCH GUY

I know I’m a week late but I PROMISED YOU GUYS and FB outage was just too timely not to discuss.

Allow me to introduce Couch Guy. His name is Robbie and this video of him sitting innocently on a couch with three other women has 62.7M views. Not only did this poor couple get absolutely ROASTED by the world wide web, they also had NEWS OUTLETS writing about their seemingly doomed romance.

So why did this pop off? TikTok sleuths. TikTok sleuths are people who hound TikTok and find any videos they can to dissect. They are also the people who instigate the most discourse in the comments section. They’re the people who look at a video of a dog licking an ice cream cone and they immediately comment “my dogs aunt died of an ice cream overdose, this is animal cruelty.” And you’re probably like “Lol Juju, those are just called trolls.” And I’m like “first, thank you for saying Juju, I hate Julz. Second, these are worse than trolls.” Trolls typically live on Instagram and Facebook. They’re just miserable people who hate their lives and don’t know how to diss people in a way that makes any lasting impact on the psyche of their victims. SLEUTHS, however, dig into your life. They go into your profile and they will find a video of you from 19 weeks ago and comment on your most recent video in question and say, “I saw 19 weeks ago you had a pimple, sucks to suck.” They get to the heart of your insecurity. And they CERTAINLY did that with poor Couch Guy. And you didn’t hear it from me but he’s a cheater. THE PHONE WAS IN HER HAND.

2. Dave Chappelle

9 days ago I had to contain my rage when I sat down with my bowl of popcorn and my lil Diet Coke and picked up my clicker and flipped on Netflix and started The Closer.

Dave Chappelle is truly not new to controversy. He is, in fact, one of the MORE controversial standup comedians. However,The Closer took stab, repeatedly, at the LGTBQ+ and trans communities. And it was just ugly. There was barely any humor in there. It was cruel, callous, and he hid behind the belief that what he was sharing were “jokes.”

AND CAN’T WE ALL TAKE A JOKE? But it’s not a joke and it’s this type of behavior that tries to use comedy as a way to de-normalize gay and trans humans and regresses everyone involved. Employees of Netflix are pissed. And yet leadership at Netflix continues to stand behind the special.

3. JONAH HILL

Yesterday Jonah Hill posted that he didn’t want people to comment about his body. And then roughly one point nine billion news outlets highlighted about his post and wrote entire articles about how Jonah Hill didn’t want people discussing his body. It is truly MINDBLOWING that in 2021 human beings cannot just LIVE without their bodies being commented on. I literally did not have enough words to select and paste all the links that dissected his request.

The ask was simple - just stop talking about his body. I mean one thing I will say is that you typically don’t see women posting this because, well, we’re used to it. But the fact that the man even had to SAY it and then that the news started REPORTING ON IT is unbelievable. It flies directly in the face of what he’s asking - WHICH IS TO STOP THE COMMENTARY.