WE’RE BACK!
Hello.
I know you missed me. I don’t need to ask. We’re going to take it nice and easy as I ease back into this…
In my ABSENCE from this newsletter, something that I have been spending a ton of time thinking about is what it means to be “very online.” Like do I have to be “very online” to do my job well? Do I need to know every single trend to understand the language of the internet fully? Do I need to permanently mangle my hands into the shape of an iPhone and burn cataracts into my eyeballs to hold a conversation at a wedding with someone under the age of 30? TURNS OUT, YES! VERY MUCH SO!
I do NOT want to talk about Kanye as my first return to this email so we aren’t going to talk about Kanye as my return to this email. Instead, I am going to share a short list of all the things I want you to read up on so we’re all caught up, and then we’re going to pretend I was never away and I’m still your BFF and we can pretend this break up never happened, OKAY?!?!?!?
LET’S GET YOU CAUGHT UP
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FIRST THE F OF ALL…
Hocus Pocus 2 because I am a white girl from New England and it’s October. Don’t listen to the article, it was SUPERIOR long-form content.
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Emma Chamberlain
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Bad bitches
have bad days, too - Megan Thee Stallion is unparalleled.
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Trisha Paytas
and Queen Elizabeth and the internet never giving it a rest.
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Andrew Tate
and why he was all over TikTok comments.
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OMG
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DALL-E
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CORN KID
For me… i really like corn.
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Carly Pii's
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Ned Fulmer
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😭😭😭😭
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Hailey Bieber
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In fact,
the entire rebranding of CHD tbh…
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Rihanna
That was sort of it (thank god for me). There’s more, don't worry. But those were some of the bigger ones. So will you take me back now????
I hope you’re not mad. This one is just the beginning.
HERE’S THE REST
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Ima need her to
stop calling it ~sticky stuff~ but I absolutely love the vibes, Victoria! Love them!
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If the AI stuff above
freaked you out then perhaps DO NOT get involved in this deep trend on TikTok about THE LONG NOW.
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Personally,
this is why I have TikTok tho. 2.7 MILLION likes.
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The Onion vs. Supreme Court
is interesting considering we’re also still talking about Alex Jones. But the 2 are very different and one is horrifyingly harmful… the other is funny?
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Martha Stewart restaurant
in Vegas that everyone loved except for NYT. Obviously.
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This Lena Dunham tweet
has been sprayed everywhere on the internet and is just VERY Lena Dunham.
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Hailey Bieber
is under scrutiny over her appropriation of “brownie glazed lips," which everyone has been calling “a new trend” except for the fact it is absolutely positively not a new trend and it was definitely not created by HAILEY BIEBER.
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Kodak Black
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Harry Styles,
besides being perfect in every way, came out with a makeup line.
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Kanye’s
flip flops the internet went wild over because I won’t talk about the shirt.
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Ugh but TikTok
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This extremely unpopular take
on Beyonce that I find to be very fascinating and worth discussing.
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Nylon
covered off on this back in August but I am just telling you NOW that grunge is very much going to be coming back.
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WTF is a content house you ask???
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Kid Cudi
was on Hot Ones and I am obsessed with this episode not because he talks about wanting to become a kindergarten teacher, no no, it’s just Kid Cudi. He can do no wrong.
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Jared Leto
is going to play Karl Lagerfeld in a biopic.
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DAHMER
is truly all over the place and it’s Netflix’s biggest hit since Squid Games. Most people online are talking about it from the vantage point of how white serial killers are romanticized.
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As you know,
I am not even a Bravo stan but I do LOVE Bethany Frankle. And now I love her even more because she called out Kylie Jenner and Kylie Cosmetics as being a scam and it is. When I was 24, I probably spend half my salary on Kylie Cosmetics because 1. I was dumb and 2. It’s truly predatory marketing.
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For the first time,
major U.S. theater chains will play a Netflix release - AMC, Regal Cinemas and Cinemark will all carry the “Knives Out” sequel for an exclusive one-week run beginning Nov. 23, one month before it begins streaming on Dec. 23. We’re living in the future.
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There is a new book
out about the DETAILED history of YouTube by Mark Bergen called “Like, Comment, Subscribe.” It’s dark.
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Anna Delvey
is being released from ICE detention and so far this my favorite take on the limitations of her release.
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Taylor Swift
continues to Taylor Swift ahead of her album release on Oct 21. She’s been posting cryptic midnight messages. TAYLOR WE JUST WANT A CLIP GIVE US THE CLIP.
OK there will be more of this.
We’ll bring back Julia and New Music Friday. I’ll tell more stories about when I was a weird kid in elementary school. I will do everything I can to make it up to you. I promise.
Kiloveyoubye
JT
