THE FETISHIZATION OF MENTAL ILLNESS

I’M BACK!

IT’S ME!

Hi. 

I missed you so much. Ultimately I ghosted you for the month because I was #dealing with #business (actually I just didn’t have insomnia the last month so I wasn’t scrolling as much and therefore felt I needed to hit pause. But lucky for you! The insomnia is back!). 

Ok so as a lil’ return to ATH…

We’re going to discuss the year 2012 when I was working at the Chestnut Hill Legal Seafoods and I had a crush on every boy. Not EVERY boy (lol jk it was every boy). But I had a very particular crush on the garde manger who used to save me ice cream bon bons whenever I was closing the bar and call me “Julieta.” He was sullen, covered in tattoos, never spoke more than 10 words to me every shift, but please understand… I was very young.

One night I was closing down the bar and he swung by to drop off my nightly bon bons. 

Him: No mistakes tonight. 

Me: “*utterly swooning* nooo I was on point, huh??

Him: That lady with the fried beets? Pain in the ass.

Me: *visibly sweating with nerves* ALWAYS! It’s like fried dirt, am I right??

Him: Fried dirt?

Me: *heart racing* ha… yah… my mom says… beets taste like dirt?

Him: Your mom?

Me: *dying* Not my mom! My friend! My friend says that. 

Him: You married?

Me: *recovering* NO! Ha! No. I’m…you know…single. 

Him: Okay.

Me: *internally dying again* Yes. Okay. Do you want a tupperware of Diet Coke for the road???

Him: No. Next time tell the beet lady to f off. 

Me: Yes. Of course. See you tomorrow.

I still think about that conversation. It haunts me. I don’t want to know what word the Gen Zers have for my failure. Absolutely no swagger. Mentioning my MOM?! Send help.

 

Anyway, I tell you this story because we gotta talk about The Bear. First of all this show is a masterpiece and Hulu really did something with this one. If you’re not already familiar, The Bear features Jeremy Allen White (if you are a fan of Shameless, this show will not disappoint you) who is essentially a mentally ill chef reeling from the death of his brother and his own experiences in the restaurant industry.

Let’s break this one down though:

WHY IT MATTERS

The Bear, similar to Euphoria, feels like something *new*. Something we haven’t seen before. To be honest it feels like you’re on the brink of a panic attack the entire time you watch it and it never slows down. That’s right where they want you. But it matters more because it’s real — the depiction of the kitchen in a restaurant is one of the most accurate ones I’ve ever seen after spending 7 years of my life in one. And it also shines that little light on our favorite word “authenticity.” Even though it’s high polish, the depiction of things like mental illness is raw and makes the characters relatable. 

BUT WHY IT REALLY MATTERS

Lol k. So Jeremy Allen White is an utter thirst trap. Don’t look that up. At least not during work hours. But it’s true and the internet… noticed. Not only did they notice, they highlighted something that a lot of women really resonated with and is a part of the cultural conversation that’s been going on for years - the differences in the way men and women define what is attractive and how vulnerability and mental health play a pivotal role in those definitions.

I don’t need to remind you of my favorite person of interest Pete Davidson. Similarly, Jeremy Allen White isn’t your cookie cutter good looking guy. He’s got a little dirt in his sandwich - if you will. And culture is starting to lean further into these types of humans that actually kind of give the middle finger to what is traditionally attractive, from their looks all the way down to their brains.

Let me tell you what I mean. Historically speaking, opening up about mental illness, especially as a man, has not just been off limits, but deeply taboo and considered, frankly, weird. Men who suffered from mental illnesses often got (and continue to get) categorized with words like “brooding” and “mysterious” if you’re a woman and “pussy” and “bitch” if you’re a man (the genderization is also a deeper topic but this phenomena really pits itself at the heart of cis-gendered heterosexual relationships), And it’s like… babe, no, he has depression or maybe anxiety. These days with the evolution of TikTok, we’re all sort of shining a light on what makes us imperfect. The people that show up perfectly polished and constantly in a good mood are now vehemently annoying. You want to know that the person across from you with the attitude that they have it all going on is actually sort of flawed, and in a way 10x hotter because that is painfully endearing.

It’s a stark contrast to the toxic masculinity that we’ve all been subjected to for decades and made to believe is desirable. Culture is shifting — and the more people start to come out with stories of trauma, panic attacks, depression, anxiety, bipolar, you name it, the more we’re likely to not just accept that it’s “normal” but… we might start to fetishize it. Which is exactly what happened to Pete Davidson and now Jeremy Allen White’s character, Carmy (and has been happening with men for years with the manic pixie dream girl trope).

We don’t WANT to fetishize men OR women with mental illnesses - we want to actually provide them with help and support. It’s disheartening to watch the public shift from harshly criticizing Pete Davidson when he threatened to kill himself on Instagram a few years ago, to calling him a “thirst trap” and making suggestive comments about why Kim ended up with him. Ultimately, it’s the same type of allure that built toxic masculinity but on the other end of the spectrum.

No one is perfect, but there was a reason why I was wildly drawn to the silent garde manger who eventually DID ask for my number and eventually DID tell me that HE was married. We’re all victims of looking at people clearly suffering (which, to be fair, that garde manger did tell me he had depression at one point) and saying, “that’s kind of intriguing, how can I… help?” But that’s not the kind of help we as a society need to provide, nor is it the kind of spotlight we should be shining on mental health. The Bear crushes it. The metaphors in Carmy’s dreams of panic attacks. The inability to feel his feelings during the work day. The flashbacks. All of it. But it’s also not a mistake that Jeremy Allen White’s paper thin white T-shirt is also 2 sizes too small. I want to hug Hulu and I also sorta want to tell them to do a little better.

 

Here’s the rest!

New Music WEEKLY

Singer-songwriter and New England native Noah Kahn released single "Stick Season.”

 

R&B sensation Brent Faiyaz released his 3rd studio album "WASTELAND.”

 

Alternative R&B artist Steve Lacy released his album "Gemini Rights.” Fun fact, Steve Lacy co-produced a Grammy-nominated album while he was still in high school.

Band Alvvays released single "Pharmacist.”

 

Indie pop-rock singer beabadoobee released her album “Beatopia”!

 

Maggie Rodgers released "Horses.” This is the third single off her upcoming album, "Surrender", which released on July 29th.

 
 

Kiloveyoubye!!!

JT