THAT GIRL

Hi. Hello. How are you? 

I bet you are so confused as to why these newsletters have been coming SOMETIMES on Friday and SOMETIMES on Monday and now, wtf is this? A Tuesday?? I’m honestly very sorry but sometimes work calls and I simply cannot get all the thoughts into one email in one day. SOMETIMES I NEED A LITTLE BIT OF TIME!!! Sometimes I need to literally sit down and give myself a chance to ~reflect~ on what’s going on online. In these moments, I try to give myself a little bit of grace, because, OBVIOUSLY, there’s a lot going on AT ALL TIMES. 

Thinking about giving myself a little bit of grace,

I started reflecting on a specific trend that began at the start of the new year called “That Girl.” Let’s get it going with a lil’ anecdote, shall we?

Are any of you familiar with Jessie Spano from the early 90s hit sitcom, Saved By The Bell?

(As you’re probably starting to see, this anecdote isn’t a personal one despite my best efforts to become Jessie Spano 2.0 in 1998). OK well if you’re not familiar, Jessie Spano was the shit. She wasn’t marketed as hot babe Kelly but she did nab AC Slater and had this huge head of blonde curls so, in my book, she reigned supreme. Jessie was heralded as the smartest in the clique of Screech, Slater, Zach, and Kelly but in season 2, Jessie got a bad grade in geometry and she feared it would impact her chances of getting into Stanford. She starts taking caffeine pills to maintain her absurd workout, rehearsal, and studying routine. Then she has a complete meltdown in front of Zack.

You probably remember this line:

JESSIE SPANO IS AN EARLY VERSION OF “THAT GIRL.”

“That Girl” has been floating around on TikTok literally since the dawn of TikTok (not just the start of this year) and truthfully, “That Girl” didn’t start on social media. It started with television characters like Jessie Spano. However, I give Saved By The Bell full credit for acknowledging that this type of “can do it all” girl is harmful to young women.

“That Girl” is perceived by those on social media as being a girl who wakes up at 5 or 6am, goes to the gym, works out, comes home, makes a healthy breakfast, takes a shower, does full hair and makeup, does all her work without a single break (literally the videos make it seem like they are desk zombies trapped there without even a glass of water or a pee break), then changes into a chic Zara outfit, grabs her keys, and goes to enjoy wine with her friends. BABE?!?!?!?!?!?! ARE YOU OKAY?!?!?!!? YOU DO THIS EVERY SINGLE DAY?!?!?!?!?!! Do you ever like… idk… take a 10mg edible and zone out to Ted Lasso while Cheetos crumbs impact themselves into your favorite hoodie?!?! How. Do. You. Unwind??

 

First and foremost, this is not realistic.

Second of all, AS ACKNOWLEDGE BY SAVED BY THE BELL PRODUCERS IN THE EARLY 90S, this is a harmful message for impressionable young women because it is simply not feasible. It’s hard to believe “That Girl” is back, and with such vengeance after years of unlearning for women that supported a more balanced life with rest. “That Girl” content does little to support a realistic healthy lifestyle. Specifically for women.

Please do not get me wrong, I live for a routine.

And shifting habits to create a healthier lifestyle is truly fundamental for a healthy and happier life. I give a lot of these women credit for what they’re doing to better themselves.

What I simply DO NOT stand for, however, is how the content is presented and then perceived by those who are unable to maintain this type of lifestyle. For many people it’s not JUST that these women are getting up at 6am and working out and doing all their makeup and getting right to work, it’s that they’re doing these behaviors in expensive clothes. They’re doing it at an Equinox gym. They’re doing it without small children biting at their ankles begging them for Eggo waffles doused in syrup they will eventually have to clean out of matted hair. They’re doing it with a job that doesn’t demand they be there at 7am. They’re doing it without any perceived mental illness that makes it difficult for them to get out of bed each day.

So let’s just call it what it is - they’re privileged. And they’re selling a lifestyle that simply isn’t attainable for… the vast majority of people. And then their content is leaving you feeling empty, inferior, and probably a little bit “unhealthy.”

 

Nope. I’m sorry. F that.

You know what’s unhealthy? Presenting a perfect version of yourself to the world with no flaws.

You know what’s healthy? Doing what you can to make yourself feel good in a way that does not harm yourself or others.

Thankfully, I have a THERAPIST that was like “lol babe that isn’t real.” And I was like “hahaha oh right, thanks, I forgot for a second.” But if you’re still feeling like “wait… but shouldn’t I be doing that?” NO! I mean sure… do some of it. Do like 1 or 2 things like that every day, maybe every other day. But also, have some grace. Life is hard. You’re doing a good job. Even Jessie Spano couldn’t do it all…

 

And with that, I do promise to try to get these out on Fridays.

Here you go!

And finally, yesterday was Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

On this day we take time to celebrate the profound impact the Civil Rights leader had on furthering the rights of Black people in this country. If you posted an MLK quote, if you posted on Black Out Friday, if you share any type of Black solidarity content on social media, I strongly encourage you to consider monetary donations to any of the below organizations or to patron a Black-owned business to put impact behind your displays of solidarity:

Ok have a great Tuesday!

ILOVEYOUBYE